Thursday, April 28, 2005

Grin and bear it...

It's very lonely in my office today. My office mate worked from home yesterday (I don't have that luxury) and he is not in again this morning. I cannot listen to music in the office. It's so quiet I keep noticing the ringing in my right ear. Sometimes it's not that bad, but today I keep hearing it, and it's a bit annoying.

I had a horrible day on Tuesday. Our fax server, which we recently upgraded, decided that it couldn't process a fax with an ampersand in the subject line. Of course, WE didn't know this. We spent all morning and part of the afternoon trying to figure out what the hell was wrong. I had people calling me and emailing me constantly because they couldn't send out any work. I was running around like a moron trying to get our backup fax system working (it had been WAY too long since we updated it because we never use it, so only about 3 people could actually use it) Finally tech support called me back a little after 1:00. 2 hours later, after a long phone call with tech support, they finally found it, said it was a problem with our new driver and gave us a newer driver. What I can't figure out is if they knew the driver we upgraded to had this problem, why didn't they just update the driver immediately when they called me and saw it? They could have saved us a lot of problems, and I could have gone to lunch that day.

It is now Thursday and I am wishing it to be Friday because I just don't feel like I can take another day in this place this week. Every time my phone rings, I cringe. I am just so tired of dealing with problems here. Every one is so high strung and everything has to be done yesterday. It makes my head hurt. I wish my life away waiting for the end of the week to get here. I spend nine hours a day hating it. Eight maybe, if I don't count when I get to leave for lunch.

There has to be more to life than this. Sure, I'm happy at home, when I'm not dwelling on the fact that I have to go back to work the next day. There had to be something out there that I can do, and enjoy it (for the most part, I know all jobs have crap to deal with), and make money. The make money part is the problem. There are plenty of things I think I would enjoy, even look forward to, they just don't pay well.

I'm tired of corporate America. I want out of this industry, at least at this level. I don't want a hig-powered job. I am tired of the CEOs and CIOs and Whatever-Os that treat me like a nothing. I'm tired of going to meetings that tell us how to sell our company to potential clients. Fortune 500. So what?

I'm tired of people asking my how my day is going, and lying by saying "fine". It's not fine. I'm miserable. I can't even see outside and tell if it is raining or sunny or snowing or ANYTHING. I'm tired of pretending to care about this stupid company. I don't care to make them rich. I really don't. I can understand why they get excited about this place. They make the big money. They created the business and made it big and sold it to *Big Name Title Insurance Company*. The new policies and corporate bullshit don't bother them, because they made a killing off of the sale.

What can I do? Go back to college? For what? I want out of this industry, at least at this level. I don't want a hig-powered job where I have to drive all morning in rush hour traffic to get to some stuffy office filled with big-wigs and wear high heels and itchy business suits and try to please people I don't even like. Start my own business? Ha! Doing what? I have no talent. My computer knowledge is decent but not good enough to stand on my own. Owning a retail establishment (what kind I won't say), is something I think would enjoy. That's out of the question because I have no startup. I can't even get my credit cards paid off, let alone think about saving up money to try something that risky.

I don't know what to do. I feel so trapped. I don't know where to begin to change this. I keep hoping that if I keep thinking about it, all of a sudden this master plan with pop into my head and I can live happily ever after.

I just really need a hug right now.

That would help a little.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Just a few things.

R had some skin cancer removed from His noggin on Wednesday. He is on Vicodin for the pain. He didn't think He would need it, but we filled the prescription anyway. Good thing too. He's in a lot of pain when it starts to wear off, then He takes it again and after a bit you hear "Whoa. It's starting to work." And He looks all stoned and relaxed. I'm thinking of stealing one from Him just to see what it feels like.

A plastic surgeon did the surgery since it was above His eybrow. His other doctor didn't want to give Him a bad scar. If He has that much pain after them cutting up a little bit of His forehead, there is no way I'll ever have plastic surgery done. Because I'm a wimp.

No big boobies for me.


The weather is taking a turn for the worse. Last weekend it was beautiful and sunny. We had the windows open. We rode the bike. I thought about the flowers I would be planting soon. We sat on the deck and drank beer.

Now we have a cold front coming through (again - we just had one on Wednesday). It's supposed to snow. Possible accumulation.

How I wish we could move.


Since the weather will be crappy, we will be painting. I dislike painting. I want it done, but I don't want to do it. And now, since R's head feels like it is going to explode if He so much as bends over, I think it will be more like me painting and R supervising. Which makes me nervous. He is much more of a perfectionist than I am. He even painted the ceiling. Who does that?

I had this conversation with my mom.

"We're painting the rooms in the house."

"Really, what ones?"

"We are starting with the hallway and living room. But R had to paint the ceiling first."


"I don't know. I think that's the right way to do it."


So if I seem lazy, or take shortcuts, it's my mom's fault. Half-assed, jerry-rigged, whatever you want to call it. That's how my family does things.


Tomorrow is a 70's theme party at *Our Favorite Bar*. We have been studying "That 70's Show" diligently. At least I have since I was born in the late 70's and don't really remember much of it. I think I will look a bit like Donna. We tried to find R a leisure suit, but to no avail. It should be fun though. I've been practicing my disco moves.


I suppose I have rambled enough for today. And I'm giving up on ever writing about some of my more interesting daily experiences. I just don't ever seem to want to sit for long enough to write about them.

Maybe someday...

The details of my vacation are already starting to fade. I really need to get those memories written before it's too late.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Da Ba Dee Da Ba Di

I'm feeling blue lately. Not sad blue, just blue. Green just didn't feel comforting anymore. If I wasn't so lazy and, well, BLUE lately, I would make my own spiffy little personal template, but I don't feel like it. This will have to do.

So there.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Disturbing Searches...

Most of the searches that find my site are sex related. I'm ok with that. What I'm not ok with is the sick mother fucker searching for videos of 13 year olds. You disgust me. I hope you get caught, sent to prison and raped by every inmate in the joint. Stay away from my site. You will not find what you are looking for here.

"came on my face" blog (Google)
"cum all over your face" boss (Google)
"he came on my face" (Yahoo)
"picks out my clothes" breasts (Google)
"private belly" -"belly dance" (AltaVista)
"she pulled down his shorts" (Google)
"strip trivial pursuit" naked (Google)
"vaginal dermatitis" (Google)
"wear panties" (Google)
+"any panties" +skirt (Google)
13yo (Google)
orgasm "i passed out again" (Google)
orgasm "jenna jameson" "passed out" (Google)
vibrator extenstion (Google)
vids 13yo (Google)

Friday, April 15, 2005

Bad Blogger

I am such a bad little blogger. I haven't written anything is so long. And lately I've just been pissing and moaning about stuff.

The reception date thing is solved. Now I just have to remind my mother that we are inviting who we want, not all of their friends and family we haven't seen in who knows how long. Who's paying for this again? Ugh.

This weekend I am going to spend all of my money from my bonus and buy paint. I dislike painting but I am really tired of how our walls look. Plus, we have the girls this weekend, so it's not like we have any plans or anything.

Maybe I'll have time to sit down and post something hot this weekend. Like how I was "punished" last weekend for misbehaving. It involved a Bowflex machine and arm restaints, a blindfold, a flogger and nipple clamps. Wonder if Blowflex would want to use us in their commercials?

Alternative uses for the Bowflex machine. *grin*