Monday, February 28, 2005

Fun in the Sun

I leave for an island vacation in 6 days.

Holy crap. I am sooooo excited. Except for the flying part. Not so excited about that.

Drinks and food and sex and sun and ocean and sex and shopping and sight-seeing and sex.

Did I mention sex?

Oh yeah. Whenever and where ever we can. Hopefully I won't get sand in any undesirable locations.

Lame blog entry I know. I'd rather write about getting my ass spanked yesterday, but now is not the time. But oooooooooooh, did it feel nice. Very arousing. Maybe I'll tell more later...

Thursday, February 24, 2005

i need

How long has it been since I have felt Your control? How long has it been since I have knelt down before You? Since You have pulled my hair? Bit my lip? Spanked me? Until I cried? And then held me in Your lap and stroked my hair and whispered that You loved me?

Too long.

Much too long.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Go ahead, eat another candy bar, stupid...

I tried on my shorts from last summer to see if I need to get new ones before vacation. (17 days!!!)

Umm. Yeah. Good thing I did. Most of 'em didn't fit. Though I don't weigh any more than I did last year, and I have been working out for about 6 weeks now, my belly seems to have shifted into some sort of late-20's-very-depressing-rolling mass. (On a side note, I think my ass and legs look better. )

But. I. look. gross.

I'm one of those people that has a belly button ring and shouldn't. One of those people that shouldn't wear a bikini. One of those people whose belly makes their waistbad curl when she sits down. One of those people that the guys snicker at when they walk into a bar with a short shirt on. One of those people that R snickers at when they walk into a room with a short shirt on.

Absolutely horrifying.

Of course He tells me I look fine.

Fine? Not good. Ok, He says good.

But not great?

This is a discussion that can't go well with a woman who is PMSing and is leaving for vacation in 17 days and just tried on all of her shorts in front of You AND her mirror and SHE LOOKED FAT.

Ok, maybe it's not that bad. I'm not grossly overweight. I should probably weigh about 7 pounds less than I do. Is that so bad? I was down to less than that after my divorce and people told me I looked anorexic. So is seven pounds really that bad?

It is when it's your belly and you have to leave for vacation in less than 3 weeks and you are working out and just not seeing the results there and you're PMSing and really want chocolate and ice cream and can't eat it because you're FAT.

KT just emailed me and asked if I have a safety pin. She is out of clean clothes and had to wear pants that are too big and wants a pin to keep them from falling down.


Tuesday, February 08, 2005


Numero uno handled.

Kennel lady called back. Said she lost my phone number. She says that every time.

What she needs to say is "Give me a list of dates you need me to watch her and I will write them on my calendar right now and you won't have to worry and I won't have to make up excuses why I didn't call you back because I really just don't like to talk on the phone."

Now...must find something new to worry about...

Not much of a post

Stressed. Must make list.

Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I usually make a list and it makes me feel a little better. Especially when I get to cross that first thing off. (I usually put something really easy on the list with the stuff that's really bothering me so I can be sure to cross something off quickly.

So here comes my list. Some of these things are really bothering me. Some are just in the back of my mind, but because of the things that are really bothering me, they seem bigger than they really are. Some of these things you will probably make say 'This girl is a nut. I have much worse things going on in my life. She has nothing to be stressed about.' But remember, other's peoples problems NEVER seem as big or as bad as your own. Because you don't have to deal with them.

So this is my therapy. Leave me alone.

1. Call the kennel.

Again. Because she NEVER calls me back. Because she's not really running a kennel. She boards my dog because it's related to her dogs. Why don't I find another kennel? Do you know how many times I've had this conversation?

"Hi, do you have an opening to board a dog for the dates of {dates}?"

"Yes, we do."

"Great, could I board my dog there?"

"What kind of dog is it?"

"A rottweiler."

"Oh. I don't know. We don't... uh... well... you see..."

It's OK. Breed discrimination from a kennel. I don't want to take my dog to a kennel that discriminates against breeds. Who was it that was talking about racial profiling? Ah, yes, Jack.

My dog is not a killer attack dog. True, she can't be around other dogs. That's why she needs to be in a KENNEL when I am out of town. If she could be around other dogs I would just schlep her over to my mom's and leave her there. But she would squash my mom's poor little sausage-on-legs. But I know some dogs that aren't Rottweilers that can't be around dogs, and I know some Rottweilers who are so super mellow nothing you do gets them upset. So quit it.

I have to call her again, hope I catch her, and she'll say 'Oh, yeah, that's fine. You know where to put her in case I'm not here when you drop her off.'

2. Go tanning.

Leaving in less than 4 weeks. I look like Casper. Horrible. Not to mention the fact that I will FRY the first day on the beach if I don't have some sort of color going on before I get there.

3. Go to the grocery store.

(Told ya I have to put an easy one on there...)

4. Slumber party?

R's oldest is grounded. When her grounding is up, she wants to have a slumber party. At our house. With 5 disrespectful, giggly, loud, 14 year old girls. Yes I know all of that is normal at 14. I was like that at 14 (a little more respectful - honestly) However, this idea did not seem to shock R as much as it did me. Why? Oh, perhaps because He has had 14 years to adjust to the idea of girls having noisy slumber parties in His house. I haven't had all that long to adjust to this stuff. No gradual change from diapers to walking to talking to growing up. Nope. Just hey, here's a teen and a pre-teen. Deal with them. No warming up period for you. I don't even have my own kids to compare to help me deal. Gah!

Pass the aspirin. Or the bottle...

5. Make a list for vacation.

A list where making a list is on the list. Counter-productive?

But seriously. I need to figure out if my summer clothes fit, or if I need to get new clothes. Of course, they better fit or R will beat my ass. Well, not really. Damn. I could probably use that. Stress relief, ya know?

I need film. Suntan lotion. Money? That means waiting for the tax refund to be deposited. I need new shoes. Not really, but I haven't gotten a new pair of sandals in years and really want some new ones. I did get a pretty sundress to wear one day. But I have NO SHOES to wear with it. Oh, the atrocity!

Well, I guess that's not a really long list. I'm not going to sit here and try to come up with more things that are bothering. That would be counter productive for sure.

Maybe I just need some good lovin' to relax me.

The quiet, shh-the-kids-are-in-the-next-room limited activities are not cutting it.