Thursday, May 25, 2006

Brass Tacks

I can happily say that Mr. has never had an issue with leaving the toilet seat up. He was already toilet-trained when I got Him, most likely at a very early age by His mother. For this I am very thankful. However, every once in a while, He has a tendency to put the toilet LID down. I have never understood this practice. I am not sure if He is afraid something 'didn't go down' and He doesn't want it exposed to the elements or on display, or if maybe He just accidentally grabbed it with the seat and they both went down together. Regardless, at 5 AM this morning, I was reminded of the valuable toilet lesson my mother taught me at an early age (my dad wasn't quite as toilet trained). That lesson was to LOOK BEFORE YOU SIT. Especially when you've just gotten out of bed, and didn't turn on the bathroom light because HOLY COW there is nothing worse than a cold bathroom floor and a bright bathroom light reflecting off the mirrors at 5 AM when you have to pee. Well, one thing worse and that worse thing would be falling into the toilet because someone left the seat up. Not quite as disturbing, but definitely confusing is to sit down and think "What is that? It is fuzzy. Did I forget to shave? My whole ass is feels warm." only to realize the lid is down and you are sitting on the fuzzy toilet lid cover. Why DO so many women, myself included, insist on those fuzzy toilet lid covers anyway? Is it for situations such as this? It would have been much more startling to sit down on an uncovered cold lid. Yikes! So remember ladies, always look before you sit, even if your man is well trained in that area. You just never know.

There was a scary looking bird perched in the pine tree by my deck all evening. Every once in a while, it would flutter its wings and move to a different branch. The neighbor's cat was very interested these exciting flutters and branch changes, but could not manage to scale our fence for a closer view. I can't figure out if this bird was sick or just young. It was a robin, I think, and it had spots on its chest and belly. Are robins spotted when they are young? It definitely couldn't fly very well, and I could hear more in the tree way up above it. I'm thinking it was old enough to leave the nest, but just didn't want to leave yet. Kind of like a career college student mooching of of his or her parents until the mom or dad or both finally get fed up and throw everything in the kid's bedroom out the front door and yell "Enough! Get a job and GET OUT!" I think that is what the robin sitting on the electric wire near the tree was telling the young bird. And it was telling it a lot, over and over. According to R, it was the DAD robin because it was pretty, and "just like all species, the male is the pretty one." Anyway. I was given a sound piece of advice, that advice being "Don't touch it, it could have the BIRD FLU." Paranoid perhaps, but I don't want to take any chances. I looked back again later in the evening, and it was gone. Hopefully it finally figured out how to fly and wasn't really sick. But again, you just never know.

Using words like "network latency" and "connectivity issues" gets people off of your back when they keep telling you they are getting kicked off the server to which they remotely connect. These are good words to use when you have no fucking clue WHY it is happening.

New glasses on coffee table + nine month old pug that likes to chew on things = not good news

I'm off work next week. I cannot wait.


Blogger evilsciencechick said...

you can tell boy robins because their heads are darker - more black - than the females.

just a little fun fact from me to you!

6:28 PM  
Blogger j said...

Then this was a boy. A noisy boy too.

10:44 AM  
Blogger Corn Child said...

You can also usually tell the boy robins because they are the ones that get lost and refuse to ask for directions, even though Circle K is RIGHT THERE. And leave the toilet seat up.


6:23 PM  

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