Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Boom Booms...

It's thundering.

In December.

In Ohio.

I rike it.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Funny things heard on Christmas...

Grandmother: "He likes tuna?" Said with heavy Tennessee accent, regarding a she and something completely unrelated to tuna. Turn up the hearing aid, ok?

R's Dad: "jag, you can get up on the table and dance if you want to. I won't mind." Huh? No more wine for him, k?

Grandmother again: Again, with heavy Tennessee accent: "Wow! A won a thousand, two thousand, fiftain hunnert, a doller..." before we explained how instant scratch off tickets work..."No no, you have to match the numbers, you don't just get the amounts for scratching them off..."

R's Dad: "No one gives better head than B (R's mom)." Slurred after R poured a rather bubbly glass of wine. Followed by R and his brother covering their ears and yelling "LA LA LA LA LA WE CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA."

I'm sure there were more, but at least one would have to reveal names to get the full effect. And we don't do that here.

He likes tuna.... Bwa ha ha ha!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Funny thing heard today at work.

From my boss.

"Can we schedule the frequency of the dump?"

*giggle giggle*

Thursday, December 01, 2005


On Thanksgiving Day, we went to R's parents house, having already suffered through a dinner with my mom's side of the family on the previous Sunday.

We decided to take D-pup with us. That way we wouldn't feel guilty about leaving her at home, and she would get a chance to socialize with another canine, R's brother's dog, C-dog.

D-pup isn't fully housetrained yet. Actually, she's probably not even half-way housetrained. I heard pugs were hard to break and whomever told me that was either very accurate in their statement, or they put a curse on me. We have to keep a close eye on her, and we take her out often, hoping she'll eventually get the idea.

It was very cold on Thanksgiving and there were a few inches of snow on the ground thanks to an Alberta clipper that came through the night before. After we were there a bit, R decided to take D-pup out to go potty,with C-dog in tow. C-dog is old and trained. She knows that you are supposed to do your business outside. She is also jealous and did not like the D-pup hanging around, mooching what would potentially be her treats.

I believe that is when she set out to kill her.

R and I were outside watching the dogs, hoping D-pup would pee quickly and we could go back in. No such luck, as C-dog had already put her plan in motion. After making pee, she took off running, sure that D-pup would follow. And she did. Back and forth they ran - D-pup barking and squealing in delight and not peeing and just having a grand old time. I remember muttering something about maybe putting C-dog in the house so D-pup would calm down and piddle, but I was dismissed.

So they continued, C-dog thinking she was slowly luring D-pup to a cold demise, and D-pup having the time of her life in the wet snow, bounding after her new best friend.

Eventually they ended up in the front yard. Again I mentioned that perhaps this wasn't a good idea, and maybe we should put C-dog in because she did pee already, and they are going down the deck, and they are getting near the pond and they are getting really close to the pond and...

"OH MY GOD she is in the pond! C-dog led her to the pond and turned and D-pup walked right into it and OH MY GOD she is going to freeze to death and drown and THAT DOG TRIED TO KILL MY DOG because we gave her CHEESE!"

And as I am screaming something along those lines, I am running down the deck, down the front yard, towards the pond where my little baby puppy is getting dragged out to sea - can ponds have low tide? - and R is running behind me yelling "Do NOT go in the water. DO NOT GO IN THE WATER! JAG! DO NOT GO IN TH WATER!!!"

I thought he was far behind me. I remember thinking "Why isn't He helping me? D-pup is going to die and all He can do is yell for me to not go in the water? I have to SAVE HER!"


Next thing I know, I am scooping my pupsicle out of the water, turning around and handing her to R.

How did he get there so fast?

Hmm. Unless he was right behind me the whole time, and maybe knew that he could reach the pup without going WAIST DEEP into the frigid water, and THAT'S why he was yelling at me to not go in the water...

Yeah. At that point I figured I'd better get my ass in the house.

I sloshed up to the garage, and by the time I made it there, my legs would hardly move. R handed the dog to his brother, who kindly (yeah, he better be nice, his dog just tried to MURDER my dog) took her inside to dry her off.

R continued to scold me for running into the water. My feeble replies of "but I told you something bad would happen if we brought her here" and "I had to get her out of the water" were not convincing, even in my own head, that I had made a wise decision in my rescue attempt. R's mom just winked at me, as if to say, "yes, I know my son is yelling at you right now, but he didn't want you to freeze to death on Thanksgiving and he really COULD HAVE gotten to her with out going that far in the water, but hey, it's all good now, let's go in and drink some wine."

I trudged into the house, feeling very foolish and made pond-watery tracks to the bathroom where I patiently waited for R to bring me dry clothes his mom let me borrow.

I changed into the sweats, handed Him my clothes, and hid in the bathroom for a while. Finally, He told me to come out of there and join everyone, and I shyly made my way to the living room, where I spotted my little D-pup shivering, wrapped in a blanket by the fire next to R's brother.

His brother said he would have done the same thing, which made me feel a litte less stupid. And I did have comfortable sweats on...

So, D-pup lived, C-dog only pouted a little, and we all had much wine and a very merry time.

I guess I can be thankful for that.