Monday, October 04, 2004

And this was a good idea because.....?

My belly hurts. Friday, for some reason, I decided it would be a fine idea to get my belly button pierced. A friend asked me to go with her for moral support because she was getting a tattoo. I wanted a tattoo as well, but couldn't decide on exactly what I'd want. Given that the thing is permament, I decided I'd better wait until I found exactly what I want.

Boyfriend really wanted me to get a tattoo. Not only did I not know what I wanted, but I really would rather go with Him to get my first one anyway. I did feel that I couldn't leave without something, I didn't want to disappoint Him. I looked at the fake tattoos, but that seemed silly. So I went next door and had a beer or two, and CC came over for a shot of courage while she was waiting for her turn to permanently mar her body. The release forms ask if you have had any alcohol in the last 4 hours, though it didn't say why they needed to know. So we decide she would just lie.

She went back over, and I followed a little bit later. She was still waiting for them to finish drawing up her tattoo. I was wandering around again and found a case with all kinds of body jewelry in it. It was about that time I felt the need to spear myself with a sharp metal object. At least then I would be leaving with something, and I could take it out if I really didn't like it.

"How much is a piercing?" I asked.

"Between $40 and $50 depending on what you get."

"OK. I'll do that."

"Just fill out this form".

Then I got to lie about the alcohol part. I'm not sure if there is some danger in getting a tattoo or body piercing while under the influence, or if they just don't want people coming back saying, "Dude, why'd you let me do that? I was drunk!" I decided that I would have done this whether or not I'd had two beers, and that two beers can't be that dangerous, and sat in the chair to wait my turn.

"You gettin' the piercing? C'mon back here."

Have you ever watched Ripley's Believe it or Not? When the people pop their eyes out of their sockets? That's what this guy looked like. I thought he was messing with me. But his eyes stayed like that. It made mine water.

"What are ya gettin' done?"

"My belly button."

"Oh come on. That's boring. All girls get that. Why don't you do something different?"

"Such as?"

"Something industrial, we could put a bar in your ear, or your nose, or your nipple."

"Umm, no thanks. Just my belly button please. I don't want anything really freaky."

"That's not freaky." Said the bug-eyed man with a spear sticking out of his face. "Why don't you at least pierce the bottom of your belly button, instead of the top? Tuck your shirt up into your bra."

He kneeled down in from of me and analyzed my belly button. I don't think I've even had anyone look so closely for so long at my belly button. I hoped I didn't have any lint in there. Finally he stood up and said, "Ok, you're right. We'll just do the top."

I don't know if that means that my belly is to fat for a ring on the bottom or what, and I almost took offense to it. Except I was too relieved to know I was not going to have a barbell stuck through any other part of my body I had never considered. He marked the spot and cleaned it.

"Sit down." He gestured toward a scary- House-of-a-1000-Corpses-black chair.

"Oh. That's like a scary dentist chair," I said as I sat down.

Suddenly, he flipped out 2 feet stirrups, and I remembered I am due for my annual. "No. Now it's scary." He laughed.

Oh, hell no. Not funny.

Then, he was all business. Getting out tools that looked like they belong in a garage, from a Craftsman toolbox, no less (I guess I was expecting a sewing box?), and this really, really, really thick needle. Holy shit, was that a big needle.

" alcohol, no peroxide, only sea salt and water. If you don't remember anything else I tell you, it's not pus. Pus is green..."

"Are you gonna warn me before you do this, or are you just gonna do it?" I asked as he reclined the scary-dentist-easy-to-be-raped-if-I-pass-out chair.

"Mmm, I'm probably just going to do it."

Right then, I felt the most uncomfortable, horrible pain in that area that I have ever felt. I mean, I figured it would hurt, but I had no idea it would hurt that bad. I've had my ears pierced, 9 holes in all. I even pierced my belly button once before (the wrong way, with a regular ear piercing gun). I was expecting something more like that. But no. This wasn't even close.

He looked at me and said "Breathe..."

Good thing, because I had forgotten to. I heard him say "Come, on" and I started thinking "Yes, come on already, too much more and I'm going to pass out."

I felt something else then, a little less painful, which, I assume was the barbell. Then he put the end on, and said, "Ok, you're done." He looked at it to make sure it was ok, old me not to touch it unless I was cleaning it, and handed me instructions on how to clean it. I went out, paid, and went back next door. I needed a beer. CC was done a few minutes later, and we were exchaning our painful stories.

Sounds to me like hers was less painful than mine, with the expection of the longer outlines in her tattoo. I must have been really freaked out by the pain, because she asked me if it hurt, and as I was telling the story, I felt a panic attack coming
on. "C'mon," I thought to myself. "Quit being such a wimp." But no, it continued to get darker and quieter and I felt more pressure in my head. Somehow, I managed to quickly finish my story and told her I had to go to the restroom. I walked in there, and stayed in there until I could see clearly again. I hate when that happens. This one wasn't as bad as the ones I've had before, but I think that is because I removed myself quickly enough to stop it before it got worse.

I went back out and she asked if I was ready to go. I must have looked ok. So we left and went back to our regular bar to talk about our fun evening.

Boyfriend did seem a little disappointed when I told Him I didn't get a tattoo. I explained to Him that I just didn't want to do it on a whim, but I did get some good ideas for what I want. He wants another one, so we will probably go together. Then I showed Him my belly and He smiled. I remembered that He'd mentioned wanting me to do that too, so I knew He'd be pleased. He was.

Now I just have to work up the courage to get my tattoo. Of course, it will be a while, since I want it on the small of my back, and I can't lay on my belly yet.


Blogger sinsulita said...

That's so cool. I've always wanted a belly button piercing but 1) I'm a pussy and 2) I think I'm probably getting too old for one.

Plus, did I mention what a pussy I am?

2:33 AM  
Blogger j said...

Well, if anyone had told me it was gonna hurt like that, I never would have done it. Glad nobody did though, I kinda like it now that it's starting to hurt less.

6:49 AM  

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