Friday, August 20, 2004

Wanna go to lunch?

So how does one tactfully tell another person "No, I don't want to go to lunch with you, not today, not ever again"?

There is this girl I work with who, about once a week, asks me to go to lunch with her. When we worked in our old office, there were four of us that would often go to lunch together. This was back when I was still married, had no friends and thoroughly enjoyed their company, because I was so starved for converstaion.

One girl is 30 years old, never been married, or in a serious relationship with any man except for God. She is completely happy with her life the way it is and frowns on others who do not "see" things they way she does. She once told me, after a minor accident, that the reason it happened is because I don't believe in God and therefore have no guardian angels, and the devil was taking over my soul. The second is a serious bible-thumper too. She is younger, 25 I think, and completely naive when it comes to real life. The two were actually roommates for a while. She's never had a serious relationship either, expect for this guy she met on the internet in a Christian chat-room (so it must be safe right - I mean bad people would never pretend to be good in a Christian chat room). She was totally "in love" with this guy and was ready to pack up all she owned and move to Florida to be close to him. She giggles like a teenager over things that only teenagers would consider funny. I remember one time how appalled she was at an advertisement in a magazine. It was one of those "better sex" videos for couples. She couldn't believe that there was such a thing, and that it was being advertised in Glamour. The third girl is also about 25, married with child, and completely miserable. She has told me I don't know how many times, that if it wasn't for her son, she would leave her jerk husband. I told her to do it now before her son is old enough to really know the difference, having been through a divorce, and knowing that once those feelings are there, they ususally don't go away. She is very condescending towards me since my divorce, and refers to the time when I was married as "before I got mean". The truth is, I am just less tolerant of people that I don't like, and I let it show. I figure she may also be a little jealous at the happy life I have now. She liked me better when I was married and miserable like her.

So anyway, girl number one constantly asks me to lunch. I always have some excuse, errands to run, phone calls to make, something. The truth is, I want to sit and smoke and listen to the radio and read my magazines, whether they are Cosmo, Maxim, or Hustler. ( I steal the boyfriend's magazines when he is done. It is interesting reading magazines designed for the opposite sex to get an idea of how their minds work - or don't work.) I'm sure it hurts her feelings, but the truth is I really can't stand to be around her. Maybe if she wasn't so judgmental it would help. She keeps asking me when I am getting married, because she stand to think that I am "living in sin". As a matter of fact, so does girl-with-child. I don't know what the big deal is. Quit asking me. If it ever happens, I'll be sure to tell you - when I feel like it.

Since my divorce, I have found it is much better to keep your personal life personal while at work. Every one had advice for me during my divorce (which took much longer than it should have because he was such an asshole). They knew what was going on with the divorce, who was getting what, what we were arguing about. I like it much better now that people don't know so much about me. I'm willing to bet that there are still people here that don't know I moved in February, sold my house, live with boyfriend, or even HAVEa boyfriend. Which, off the subject is a word that really bugs me. It seems so juvenile. He's 40, for goodness sake. Is he really a boyfriend? Is there a better word? Partner? Lover? Soulmate? Old Man?

I'm getting away from my point. The point being that I don't want to go to lunch with this girl, I don't want to hurt her feelings, but don't know how to get that across.

Guess I'll just keep making up excuses. Today I'm getting groceries.


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