Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Chill out. For Once. Jeez...

Sometimes life really gets under my skin.  It just has to start with something small going wrong, and then the next thing I know, my overactive mind has created a monster. One bad thing, and all of a sudden, all I can think about are the things I need to do that I’m not doing.  Things that aren’t really all the bad, but I make them bad. Imaginary bad things.

Those relaxation techniques would probably come in handy now.  But I forget how to do them.  I could never clear my mind enough anyway.  I would try.  And I would just fall asleep.

So my annoyances started last night. I fed the dog.  I emptied her new bag of dog food into the big Rubbermaid container. I went upstairs.  The dog usually eats in about 2 minutes flat, then come upstairs to be let out.  She didn’t come up.  Finally I went down there, and there she was, eating all her food.  Because I am a dumbass and didn’t put the lid on it.  So I get her outside, knowing she is going to puke after eating all that. She didn’t though.

Later on I was on the computer, emailing pictures from last weekend’s wedding to some people.  IE kept locking up on me, I couldn’t get into my email, and the CPU was at 100%.  WTF.  I had a Windows Explorer window open and Internet Explorer.  That’s it.  So I ran Ad-aware.  Didn’t find much.  I noticed that notepad.exe and windows messenger were gone.  I had that happen before.  Pinfi virus or something.  So I ran AVG.  It was late so I went to bed.  I was going to check AVG in the morning and see if it found anything.

Went to bed with no sex.  So I knew I was going to wake up feeling frustrated and guilty.  Frustrated because I kinda wanted some, guilty because I guess I could have initiated it.  But I was kind of sleepy, and then he rolled over on his belly, so that pretty much stopped any ideas I had.  And he could have initiated too.  I guess he kind of did when he said “why don’t you suck my dick?”  I don’t know.  Sometimes that’s fine when he says it that way.  Sometimes it bothers me.  Last night it didn’t do anything for me.

So his alarm went off this morning, way earlier and louder than mine and that always pisses me off.  I’m not a morning person anyway.  I got up to pee and saw that the lovely dog puked in the hallway.  A little tiny spot.  I went into the bathroom, and she peed on the floor in there.  Nice.  At least it’s on the linoleum.  So I walked down the hall to let her out.  I smelled something funny.  OMFG, she SHIT on the floor.  She never does that.  I get her outside, turn on the light and she had pissed in there too!!! I was pretty fucking upset by then.  So I started cleaning it up.  At 5:45 in the morning.  I finally got it all cleaned up, let the dog back in, went to wake the boyfriend up because he had apparently turned off his alarm and rolled back over.  The fucking dog came back in the house, ran down the fucking hall, and fucking PUKED in the fucking doorway of the fucking bedroom.  A lot.  Mixed with the spaghetti sauce I let her lick up last night.  Cream colored carpet.  I think I was beyond upset at this point.  So I cleaned up that mess, helped the boyfriend pack his lunch and load some really heavy generator thing into his truck, and went to check AVG.

AVG encountered a problem and needed to be shut down.

OMG!  Is this bad karma or what?

I restarted AVG and laid back down for about a half hour.  AVG found nothing.  So I shut down the computer and left for work.  I really just wanted to crawl back in bed.  Because this is when I started thinking in overdrive.  I have to clean the carpets better when I get home. I have to fix the computer.  I really should clean the basement. It smells like the dog. The dog needs a bath because she smells.  The basement is full of all my junk that really gets on the boyfriends nerves because I don’t need all that shit, and I really should get rid of it. I have to go grocery shopping.  I really should start figuring out what to pack and what I need because we’re leaving for Indy next Thursday.  I have to make sure the kennel can take the smelly, pukey, shitty dog again.  I hope she just ate too much and isn’t really sick. I never did clean the overspray off of the siding from when we sealed the deck.  I didn’t seal my wooden bench. I really should put the lights and tiki torches back up on the deck now that we are done sealing it.  I forgot to water my petunia. I need to get gas. I left towels in the washer.

And it just keeps on and on.  Rolling through my head, all these thoughts and I just feel more and more frustrated and the more someone tells me to not worry about stuff like that the more I do.

And my boss just pissed me off.  All way from Vegas he can piss me off with one fucking email.

I need to release some serious pent-up frustration.


Post a Comment

<< Home