Wednesday, August 25, 2004

And the feeling is here again.

I am having one of those days where everything seems wrong. Everything is getting on my nerves. And I'm just waiting for the world to crash down on me.

My office mate is behind me slurping and chomping, destroying his apple. It's really getting on my nerves. I'd like to jump up and rip the apple from his hand and heave it out the back door into the woods. But that wouldn't really be very nice. Plus, I know the whole reason it is upsetting me is because my mother slurps and chomps on her food like that and my mother really gets on my nerves.

Today is one of those days where the world and I would be better off if I just curled up in a dark corner somewhere and didn't come out until tomorrow.

I don't know exactly what is bothering me at this point. There are several things that I can think of, but when I think about them, I don't get that feeling of "Ah-Ha! That is it! I will now deal with this thought and push it out of my head!" I can't put my finger on just one thing. I hate that. Because when this happens I get this weird feeling of tension across my belly and lower back. Like someone is squeezing me. It is really quite uncomfortable.

I was hoping that writing about it might help me discover, and then lay to rest, whatever it is that is causing me to feel this way.

I'm not even inspired enough to keep writing about it.

I just feel sad.


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