Meh...
The pinch in my right shoulderblade indicates that I have indeed mastered the poor posture slouch I have been trying so hard to achieve here in my fluorescent hell.
The good news I received yesterday was superceded by the fact that D-pup is sick. Poor little thing. She is now on a medicated routine of Pedialyte and Kaopectate. I'm not sure what she ate, but it isn't being very nice to her. She is fine otherwise, so I probably shouldn't worry, but that is not my nature. No. I have to find one thing to worry about, magnify it to ridiculous proportions, and then snap at everyone around me, taking out my frustrations on anyone who will listen, and even those that don't. Because they usually do quit listening, or answering their phones.
Lately I have been on edge. Small things set me off. Forget about having a thick skin, mine is transparent it is so thin.
The odd thing is, my obsessive behavior has not kicked in, which is not the norm for me in this situation. I should be thinking about the worst case scenario, as is my nature, but instead the thoughts in my head are more along the lines of "who gives a shit anymore". I'm sure this too shall pass, but for right now, I am void of the butterfly in the stomach feeling and just kind of numb. I don't want to think about anything for a while, it just hurts right between my eybrows when I do. My focus is still off, concentration is still difficult.
I just want D-pup to avoid a costly trip to the vet. Everything else, well, I'm so over thinking about it.
For now.
The good news I received yesterday was superceded by the fact that D-pup is sick. Poor little thing. She is now on a medicated routine of Pedialyte and Kaopectate. I'm not sure what she ate, but it isn't being very nice to her. She is fine otherwise, so I probably shouldn't worry, but that is not my nature. No. I have to find one thing to worry about, magnify it to ridiculous proportions, and then snap at everyone around me, taking out my frustrations on anyone who will listen, and even those that don't. Because they usually do quit listening, or answering their phones.
Lately I have been on edge. Small things set me off. Forget about having a thick skin, mine is transparent it is so thin.
The odd thing is, my obsessive behavior has not kicked in, which is not the norm for me in this situation. I should be thinking about the worst case scenario, as is my nature, but instead the thoughts in my head are more along the lines of "who gives a shit anymore". I'm sure this too shall pass, but for right now, I am void of the butterfly in the stomach feeling and just kind of numb. I don't want to think about anything for a while, it just hurts right between my eybrows when I do. My focus is still off, concentration is still difficult.
I just want D-pup to avoid a costly trip to the vet. Everything else, well, I'm so over thinking about it.
For now.
posted by Anastasia at Tuesday, April 25, 2006
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