Five pounds of screaming sleepless nights...
Annoying girl at my work: "Hey j! Come here and look at new pictures of the BAAAAY-BEEEEEEEE." (Referring to some relative of hers whom I don't know who just had a premature baby boy, while I'm on my way to the bathroom. Of course.)
leans over desk to obligingly look at pictures on computer
AGAMW: "Isn't he cute?"
j: "Yeah. Cute."
AGAMW: (preparing for light-speed speech) "I just can'tbelievehowlittleheisiandheisdoingsogoodandis5poundsnow - ohsupervisorladycomehereandlookandthenewpicturesihaveofhtebaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybeeee...."
Supervisor girl: "Oh. How much does he way?"
AGAMW: "5 pounds! Can you believe it?"
see my escape route and make a break for it while she is distracted.
...
returning from bathroom
AGAMW: "I can't believe he is 5 pounds! Doesn't it make you want one?"
j: "Um. No."
AGAMW: "But he's cute though, right?"
j: feeling guilty "Yep. Sure is."
I'm not saying I'm not happy for the little guy, pulling through premature birth and all. But really, is that so miraculous anymore? And, I don't KNOW her family or the little baby, and sorry, I just CAN't gush over babies. CAN NOT. That little piece that goes inside women that makes them all googly and starry-eyed and picturing the mini-van with 2 car seats? I didn't get that piece. Or it is broken. It always was. And it still is.
I'm sorry.
leans over desk to obligingly look at pictures on computer
AGAMW: "Isn't he cute?"
j: "Yeah. Cute."
AGAMW: (preparing for light-speed speech) "I just can'tbelievehowlittleheisiandheisdoingsogoodandis5poundsnow - ohsupervisorladycomehereandlookandthenewpicturesihaveofhtebaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybeeee...."
Supervisor girl: "Oh. How much does he way?"
AGAMW: "5 pounds! Can you believe it?"
see my escape route and make a break for it while she is distracted.
...
returning from bathroom
AGAMW: "I can't believe he is 5 pounds! Doesn't it make you want one?"
j: "Um. No."
AGAMW: "But he's cute though, right?"
j: feeling guilty "Yep. Sure is."
I'm not saying I'm not happy for the little guy, pulling through premature birth and all. But really, is that so miraculous anymore? And, I don't KNOW her family or the little baby, and sorry, I just CAN't gush over babies. CAN NOT. That little piece that goes inside women that makes them all googly and starry-eyed and picturing the mini-van with 2 car seats? I didn't get that piece. Or it is broken. It always was. And it still is.
I'm sorry.
posted by Anastasia at Tuesday, April 25, 2006
2 Comments:
ugh. lame.
now...if it were a picture of a PUPPY...well that's completely different!
Yes. Puppies make me gushy with love. Of course, I can also put puppies in a crate and go out for the evening. With a baby, not so much. People kind of frown on that sort of thing.
I AM however, going to be an aunt soon, and that is exciting. But that is family. And I know they won't ask me to babysit, because, well, they KNOW how I am with babies.
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