Thursday, December 02, 2004

Naked Time

All better today. You know, sometimes I completely forget that I am now with a reasonable, level-headed man. I think I was so badly burned by my ex's actions that I just expect the worst from any man. I was so upset about what I had said and how it was taken that at one point during the day I had managed to convince myself that He was at home packing His things and leaving and if I was lucky He wouldn't take my dog. He wouldn't do that to me though. No matter how bad things got, He wouldn't do that. I know that. But my mind creates these little monsters that convince me that everything I thought I knew was wrong and it is going to happen to me all over again.

Everything worked out fine. After work, a discussion ensued followed by some soothing, and an "everything is ok" from Him. The fact that I am PMSing is probably what made this all worse than it had to be. That, and the fact that I OBSESS over everything. Seems like the harder I try to put something out of my mind, the more I think about it. It's horrible to be inside my head sometimes. But just hearing Him tell me everything is OK, or everything will be OK, even if He gives no reason why, makes me feel so much better and safe and content.

What also helped is that psycho bitch freaked out on him again last night about stupid shit and about her half of His pension. That burns me up just thinking about it. Of course, when she calls freaking out it also makes me feel just that much better about myself. At least I don't act like her. That woman needs to get a grip or she is NEVER going to find a man who will tolerate her, much less care about her.

So we talked, and went out, and I was weepy and KT made me laugh. We came home and I sucked His dick until I was sloppy wet and then I climbed on top of Him and rode Him and I cried "please don't ever leave me" as I came. And He just held me and kissed me and loved me for a while, and then He flipped me over and fucked me. There were no words. Just some grunts and deep breaths and watching Him pump away at me. He came all over my belly. Which was supposed to be a no fly zone since I got my belly button pierced, but it has to be healed enough by now for that to be ok. Then He teased my clit after he came with the tip of his dick, shoved it back in me and just sat there that way for a bit. Then He cleaned me off and we went to sleep. I swear, we sleep so close together we probably only need a twin sized bed.

This morning I was feeling a bit emotional and upset again so I called Him and said "Please give me something good to think about so I don't think about bad things all day."

He said, "Tonight, after dinner, we are going to get naked and watch TV and wrestle around. We'll pile up the pillows on the futon, grab a bunch of blankets and watch all the shows we have recorded. Oh, and maybe have sex."

Sounds good to me. I like naked time. So every time today I think of something bad, I'm going to think of naked time.

I can hardly wait.


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