stupid, stupid, stupid

I am a whiny, needy, bitch sometimes. The blog didn't help. I had to call. With the pathetic "are you still mad?" question. And of course he says what he always says. He wasn't mad, (he sure seemed mad) but he didn't like some of the stuff I said. Well, I wouldn't have either. I was defensive and mean. Of course, he said some things that hurt me a little too. Probably for the same reason.

But is the phone call enough? Not in my insecure little world. So I text message. Are you sure we're ok? Yes we're ok.

Do I feel better now? A little. I feel annoying and childish, but I feel better.

I hate myself sometimes. I wish I could just turn it off. Once my brain kicks into high gear, look out. There has to be a better way for me to handle myself when I get like this.

But I don't know of one.