Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Belly Shot Girl

So, I used to bartend at this little joint not far from where I live. It's my hang out now. If the place ever shut down, I don't know what would happen. All of my friends I have now, I met there. We would be lost without it.

I ended up with the job after my divorce. I knew someone who worked there, and she felt bad for me so she told me she worked Wednesday's and I should stop in and see her. I had driven past this place a least a million times and never realized it was there. After a month or so, the owner asked me if I wanted to work there. She said I had a good personality and everyone there seemed to like me. I had absolutely no clue how to bartend. She didn't care. So I went in one Wednesday for training and that was it. I was officially a part-time bartender.

I couldn't mix drinks to save my life. I remember being so nervous when a woman would come in because I just KNEW she was going to want some damn froo froo drink. I was used to the truckers and construction workers. It was pretty much a beer/shot bar. It got to the point that I would refer to someone by what they drank. You know, the Miller Lite draft guy, the Johnny Walker on the rocks guy, etc.

At least until it got late. Then all the younger, I-need-to-see-your-ID crowd would come in. I didn't even know what a Jaeger bomb was til I worked there. That has got to be one of the stupidest ideas ever. Let's mix an upper and a downer and get all fucked up and puke. That's what they should call it. The "let's-get-all-fucked-up-and-puke-bomb". Most people I know, if they drink more than one or two, puke. And they're expensive too. Waste of money.

After a while, I got to know who the regulars were, and looked forward to them coming in. There was this one guy from the west side who was there everytime I worked until close. He would get wasted and sleep in his van in the parking lot. I tried to tell him he could still get a DUI that way, but at least he wasn't driving. And I didn't mind him anyway, he wouldn't let new guys mess with me and he always took out the trash.

One night, we were having a party in there for someone's birthday or something. Things were getting kinda boring, and the owner was worried people would start leaving. Saturday's were never very busy, and there were quite a few people there, and she wanted to keep them there as long as possible. So she comes up with this idea of people doing belly shots. The other barmaid had a bunch of shooters she got from somewhere and we decided that for 5 bucks, the guy could do a shot of his choice and keep the shooter. The only catch was the shots were to be done off of my belly.

OK. So that's harmless enough I guess. I down a shot of courage myself and hop up on the bar. All eyes are on me. When you're the type of person who doesn't do well in the spotlight, this is nerve-wrecking. So I laid down on the bar and west side is the first, um, volunteer? He decides tequila is the thing to do, so next thing I know, there's salt on my belly, tequila in my navel and a slice of lime sticking out of the top of my jeans. Good thing I was single at the time. The owner was taking pictures like mad. It wasn't too bad, a little sticky, and then it was over and I sat up. There was now a line of guys who wanted to do these shots. I had jack, rum (sticky!), tequila, jaeger (that stains), and even beer on my belly. I was up there for quite a while. After that I was known as the belly-shot girl. It was even on the sign for a while.

Til the new owner took over. She sucks. I'm not allowed on the bar anymore. I did do a private belly shot session at a friend's house once since then. There are rumors that he and another friend of ours are looking at buying part of the bar. I guess she'd only still have like 20 percent.

Maybe belly shot girl will make a comeback?


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