Thursday, July 08, 2004

Wonder if I missed anything.

I just got an email with a link to photos from my 10th high school reunion. I didn't go. As I looked through the pictures, I was feeling little pangs, kind of like I used to get when I was actually in high school. Based on the photographs, the same little cliques either still exist, or reformed at this function. I saw the same girls who were not so nice to me smiling together as if they ruled the world. I saw the same girls who befriended me during those 4 years sitting in the back, either alone or only with their spouse/significant other, just like we used to do. Only I wasn't there this time to feel that I wasn't accepted. I saw the guys I used to be friends with talking to each other, hanging back near the doorway. I saw the guys I wasn't friends with out on the dance floor making fools of themselves just like they used to, and everyone smiling and clapping for them. One thing that made me smile: a lot of those girls that didn't like me are a little plump now.

So why do I feel like I missed something?

The next day was a family picnic. All the happy mommies and daddies were there smiling, letting junior eat sand, slide down the slide, grab food off their plates while sitting in their laps. They were all probably comparing the other tots to theirs in their heads, and thinking how their little one was so much more well-behaved, or cuter or prettier than the others. There were others there with no children, and based on the photgraphs, that kind of split the picnic into two groups. Those with child and those without. I of course, would have been in the without group.

Which is fine by me.

I remember going to school dances, nervously walking into the building, only to see all of the popular girls in a big circle outside the gym. I hated walking past them. Once inside I would squint in the darkness and search for my small group of friends. Finally I would find them, and we would dance the night away. I didn't care at that point that those girls left tacks on my seat, or knocked my books out of my hands in the hallway. But by Monday morning, I would feel the same. Hoping my best friend would not have an orthodontist appointment so I would be able to sit with her at lunch.

And lunch. What a group of misfits we were at that lunch table. We were all the wannabe's. Wannabe jocks, cheerleaders, skaters, punks, even nerds. Yes, there was even a group of nerds we weren't quite nerdy enough to make it into. But man did we have fun. But I noticed that half of my original lunch table didn't make it to the reunion. They might have felt the same apprehension about attending as I did. And it's sad but I don't talk to most of those people at all anymore, unless I run into them somewhere. I'm horrible at keeping in touch with people.

Maybe I'll make it to the 15th. Depends on how much courage I can grow by then.

3 Comments:

Blogger April said...

Hi there, great blog, I just found it! I can relate to this post, I didn't go to my 10th reunion either. Mostly it was because I just don't care anymore! Life goes on, and I see the people I want to see now, I don't need some awkward social situation to remind me of why I didn't keep in touch with them in the first place!

Anyway, have a great night!

9:34 PM  
Blogger W.F. Call said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:55 PM  
Blogger j said...

Hey guys. Thanks for the comments. At least I know I'm not the only one who doesn't go to functions like that.

9:53 AM  

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