Tuesday, January 31, 2006

It's the little things...

My friend and I are planning on going downtown for St. Patty's Day next month. I was told the parade is really cool and the bars open at 5:30 AM. Just what we need. I didn't even know they HAD a parade and got the party started so early. Seems everyone else I know was aware of this fact. It makes me wonder what else I'm missing out on...

Anyway, I was approved for the day off, as was my friend. I was telling R that I got the day off and KT and maybe T wanted to go, and then I asked Him if He wanted to go. He said it would depend on who's going. I told Him and He said, "We'll see, you might have more fun by yourselves, but you might need a body guard..."

And I liked the thought of that. Me and my silly friends, escorted by R, in the big city... And then I thought about it some more, and I wondered if they might NOT like that. I don't know. Maybe they would think that He wouldn't let me go without Him. Maybe they wouldn't think anything of it and like Him being there just because He IS fun to go out with. Not one the girls - not by a long shot - but fun nonetheless...

I know that T would always tell her ex that she wished he was more like R. But would she really? To be protective? She is very headstrong and THINKS she knows what she wants. She doesn't want someone to tell her what to do. Where to go. What to wear. How to act. And she certainly wouldn't have liked for him to follow her around. I know this, because he has... But that was more of a spying thing so I guess it's different.

KT is the same way. No one is the boss of her. Especially her BF. But she also has told me she thinks that R and I have a good relationship. And then there is J, who always wants to do the "girls only" thing. It's ok to want to hang with the girls, but it doesn't seem necessary for her to make a point of it everytime she wants to get together.

I know He likes certain things certain ways, and I try to do those things, because I want Him to be happy. Then, when I do, He is happy, so He makes me happy in return. Give and take, right? Isn't that the basis of a good relationship? (And communication, don't forget communication!)

So is it wrong that I like the idea of having a bodyguard? Little old me, protected by the big tough man? I think any girl that says she doesn't want that is lying. I think she was probably told that she is weak if she need a man's protection. Or, God forbid, WANTS a man's protection. She may have been told she needs to take care of herself, that she can't count on someone else to always be there to rescue her. That it is demeaning to be seen as someone that can't fend for herself.

I call bullshit on all of that.

The right kind of man will be there to protect her. To make her feel safe and secure and precious and special. He won't think he is superior and she is inferior. He will cherish her, respect her, and show everyone around that she is something special that should be treated with care. If he doesn't, then he is underserving and she needs to move on.

And since when should a girl be expected to defend herself against a man? I mean, seriously. Most guys are much stronger then most girls. That's just the way it is. If some drunk decides he wants to grab a girl and drag her out back behind the bar, he's not going to look at the girl that has one or more male escort. He is going to watch for the girl that is in her own little world, giggling and laughing and totally oblivious to what is going on around her. He can walk up to her, grab her by the arm, tell her not to fight or he'll hurt her, and lead her away. And if she does try to fight, how much of a chance is she going to have? This is assuming he doesn't have a knife or a gun, because then ALL bets are off. I'm not sure that's a chance I want to take.

OK, OK, I know I went way off on a paranoid ramble there. I do not think that every woman that goes somewhere unescorted is going to end up raped and beaten and killed. I've gone out plenty of times with the girls and we have all had a ton of fun and we have been just fine.

But it is nice to know, when you are out, that He is sitting right over THERE. Watching you laugh and dance with your friends from a distance. And watching the guys watch you. He may be feeling a little pride that someone is watching His woman. He may feel a little more pride when you walk over, he hands you a drink and you thank Him with a kiss. He sees the look of disappointment on the faces of some. He sees the challenge in the eyes of others. They think they can get you.

But if anybody tries anything, they better watch out.

Because that's not about to happen when He's around.


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