Friday, January 20, 2006

I think I need to start doing this again...

I feel better when I get things out. When I do it here, I'm not directly complaining to anyone. I can't directly hurt anyone's feelings. I can make myself feel better.

I won't have anyone to tell me everything will be ok. I don't get that anyway. But I also won't have anyone to tell me to shut up and stop worrying. To tell me that I should have known it was going to be this way. That I could do without.

I can't talk to other people about what is bothering me. That would upset someone. Though talking to a neutral party would probably help, and let me think about things more rationally. I try to keep it all in. I can only keep it in for so long, and soon I blow up at the one person I was trying to keep it from, trying not to upset, trying not to drag down with me.

I really think if I start here again, it might help.

It certainly can't hurt.


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