Thursday, March 23, 2006

He makes you do what???

I think the dynamics of my relationship with Mr. R are more obvious then I originally thought. Within the last week, I have had two conversations with two different people about it. It's funny to me that people notice.

Last night went something like this, when Mr. R was driving us and a friend home, in the truck.

NY D: Do you always sit in the middle?
Me: Yep.
NY D: Why?
Me: Because that's the rule.
NY D: ??? (confused look)
NY D: So you always sit there? Even when there is nobody else in the truck?
Me: Yep.
NY D: Huh...

I do. I remember when I first starting dating Mr. R. He had a blue truck with a bench seat. I think I sat in the passenger seat twice. Then He told me to sit in the middle. And I have been ever since. I don't even use the passenger door. I get in on His side, and out on His side. I hate when we take my jeep somewhere, because I feel odd not being able to sit next to Him. And I NEVER drive when it's the two of us.

I suppose that might seem odd to some people.

Then last Friday (OH! Last Friday! Downtown! For the parade! Fun! Whole other story!) we were riding back to our stomping ground with KT's boyfriend. (He generously offered to retrieve 4 intoxicated females from the St. Patty's Day festivities.) T was upset about her ex being a jerk and generally mad about men in general and then she turned to me.

T: You know, sometimes Mr. R makes me mad.
Me: Really? Why?
T: He's so bossy. He tells you what to do, and you just do it.
Me: Well, if He was telling me to do something I didn't want to do, I wouldn't do it.
T: But he's so CONTROLLING.
Me: Some women like to be controlled, T.
T: Yeah, but...oh....OH.
Me: Yeah.
T: Nevemind then. I didn't realize...
Me: It's ok. Most people don't.

But those conversations got me to thinking. If they notice, then other people notice. And if they think I'm being forced to do things I don't want to do, then other people might think that. I wonder if people are thinking, "Oh, poor jAG. Mr. R. is so mean to her." Or maybe they think I'm an abused wife. Or that I'm unhappy and just don't know how to get away from Him.

And that is funny to me, because I sit and analyze other people's relationships. And I'm usually thinking that both people are trying way too hard to be in control, and it's throwing everything all off balance. You can't have two people in charge. You just can't. It doesn't matter if it's the man or the woman, but it just can't be both.

But seriously, I don't think anyone we know has the same kind of relationship. And they just don't get it.

Too bad for them.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well then! there is no atypical relationship... most who complain about that controlling shit are just to confused and f'd in the head to realize that there is a natural symetry to your arrangement...Basically its the yen and yang theory, wich btw, I feel is totally correct.... for example, you cant know pleasure, without visiting pain, you cant know love, without visiting hate, you wouldnt appreciate the day, without experiencing night, and vica versa...I think we live in a judgemental jealouse society. I am not judgemental, only jealous.... your relationship with R works, you are both happy, and that is all that counts.... Oh and a little gossip tip... our mutual friend is working relationship issues out, kinda sorta.... but i didnt say that! so you did not hear from anonymous! :)

11:14 PM  
Blogger j said...

Hey Anon,
Thanks. And that is good news. I actually saw her last Friday, she wanted to talk, but I had to go.

Keep me posted.

9:19 AM  

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